Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The Drudge Report links to this article in USA Today "Gasoline prices could keep falling" and features these two opening lines:
Gasoline prices are falling fast and could keep dropping for months.

"The only place they have to go is down," says Fred Rozell, gasoline analyst at the
Oil Price Information Service (OPIS). "We'll be closer to $2 than $3 come Thanksgiving."

How long before the usual gang of idiots members of the loyal opposition claim it's all part of a plot by Bush Cheney Rove Cheney to first enrich the oil companies at the public's expense and then reap the reward of falling gas prices just in time for the elections? (I'll keep a lookout...)

Monday, August 28, 2006

So Hillary Clinton outlives Bill by a few years before going to her final resting place. On arriving at the edge of Heaven, she sees two great doors: it's clear to her that one leads to paradise and the other to damnation.
A glorious being approaches and say, "welcome, dear lady - right this way" and he begins to lead her to the door to paradise. She says, "Isn't there supposed to be some sort of judgement? After all, I know that I haven't always led a very upright life," and the divine being replies, "Oh, that may be true, but we believe that anyone who was married to such a horrible person deserves to be in Paradise..."
And Hillary sadly looks towards the door to damnation as she is led through the gates to Paradise... and off in the distance she sees what certainly looks like her husband; and she points him out to the divine being, who replies, "Let me explain it to you again..."

And I still say she'll run for VP in 2008 with Gore at the top of the ticker... and why do I keep seeing John McCain on the poli talk shows all the time? Would Tim Russert actually vote for McCain if he becomes the Repub 2008 candidate?

Monday, August 21, 2006

I once had a pet rooster, but one day I opened his cage and let him into my car, and the next thing I knew he flew the coupe.

Drudge notes that Hillary Rotten Clinton has gotten another Time magazine cover. No no no, I'm sticking with my proverbial guns, in 2008 it'll be Al Gore running again with Hillary as his won't-give-up-her-senate-seat running mate. (If they win, sales of hard liquor will skyrocket, Bill Clinton will become UN General Suck-A-Secretary, and hezbollah will get a seat in the UN, because "isn't it better to talk than fight?" Yes it is, Mr Judenrat. Right this way, plenty of room in the next boxcar.)

Friday, August 11, 2006

Hey, I just had a bright idea - how yummy does this sound: Chocolate Frosted Bacon Flakes. You can guess who I'd want an endorsement from.

I don't know if anyone else has mentioned this - although I'm pretty sure plenty have - but how odd is it that the Dems talk about the need to end 'partisanship' in the government, yet one of the (seemingly) least partisan Dems in the Senate loses a primary to a much more partisan upstart.

Oh, yeah, I forget - they're not the ones guilty of partisanship, we are.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Two questions for the retards on the other side:

You say that we cannot win the war on terror because when we kill one leader and ten of his followers others will take their places.

Doesn't that also happen with ghetto gangs and organized crime?

Should the goverment give up fighting crime and negotiate with criminals to allow them to have some say in, say, the running of housing projects or the lending of money?

Or would you prefer to negotiate with the Klan over which schools and water fountains can stay segregated? You can probably ask American Icon Sen Byrd about that matter.


Hey, that reminds me, if a gangster is someone who belongs to a gang, does a hamster belong to a ham? Virginia or Polish? And is the relationship between cigar and cigarette analogous to the relationship between Major and Majorette? And where can I get a copy of that Lovely song about Rosie O'Donnell (you probably saw it mentioned in that commercial with the distinguished old coot), Full Moon and Empty Freezer? People drinking vodka while working late want to know.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

why did the beaver go on strike? No dam reason.

Awake the strumpet's beefy pounds
the joyful sacred festival comes round
when (okay, work in progress - Handel, don't you know.)

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