Wednesday, September 28, 2005

It's ten after nine in the PM and I am still at work - job I like for people I don't want to work for.

DeLay is indicted for... what? When all else fails, go for a charge of conspiracy. Or, better still, conpiracy to conspire to commit conspiracy.
I did Grand Jury duty in the New York City area a good dozen years ago, and I can tell you from experience that, no, a Grand Jury would not indict a ham sandwich, unless the ham sandwich chose to appear before the jury and said, "That depends on what the meaning of the word 'ham' am." I will leave the real lawyers to debate and dispose of the merits of the case, but when a Republican has a Grand Jury investigate a Dem? Oy oy oy und oy.

But Puddinhead Willis et al must be gleeful to the point of exploding with custard. Delay's aide took a trip from Abramoff! Corrupt Bastard! Oh, some Dems in the House did the same? Well, let's stop pointing fingers and get some real reform laws passed. FEMA did a lousy job! The mayor and governor ignored the emergency plans they had for such a situation? Well, let's just say there's blame enough to go around...

Jackoffs. I must find a better word... let me have a swig... tick tick tick... Hillarytards? Mmm... Harry Reidtards? Hmm... Oliveretards? Yummmm... donuts dipped in Crisco and sprinkles... Raw Storytards? Hummm... better..? Maybe jackoffs is good enough...

Speaking of Hillary Retard Clinton, she's against Roberts but she's also against the 'International Freedom Center' (wish I could cite a link.) You put your left foot in (the anti-Roberts camp) You put your right foot out (because you want to appeal to the rubes who think you're a carpetbagger but might be dumb enough to fall for faux-patriotism), you hide your big big butt (so people don't think of you as an ass), you hide your left-wing ties (so Farmer Brown and Store Owner Smith won't remember you wanted socialised medicine and justice for the Black Panthers) and you shake it all about (about as long as it takes to get you in the White House and Bill out of your hair... how does, say, Hillary Rodham Affleck sound..?)

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

How does one write when there are others who write about the same things, and write better..?
Oh well.
I see another hurricane might cause a lot of crap along the Texas coast. All together now: It's Bush's fault.
Why did Hillary Clinton cross the road? To get to the other thighs...
And they're right - what the hell is DeLay talking about, we can't cut the federal budget? But let's send more men to the moon. Well, maybe - I could easily come up with four candidates, provided they didn't come back.
Vodka, the breakfast of champions - boy do I need a different job. No, the same job but at a different place.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Liberal Medical theory:
The conservative gives you a pill - twenty minutes later the liberal hollers, "See? I told you it wouldn't work!"
The liberal gives you a pill: "Take three a day for the next twenty years." And twenty years later: "Hmm, it's not working, we'll need to increase the dose."

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

I notice that some bloggers use Greek or Latin or Greek/Latin/Classical sounding names (eg, Atrios.) Anyone out there laid claim to the name Testicles (pronounce Tess-tick-lees)? If not,
I claim it for myself. Moonbats beware. What was that classic fable, Testicles and the Lion? The fox said the gropes were probably sour? My dog has fleas but the sheep have fleece and the dishonest fleas fleeced the fleeing fleas with their flea flight fees? The dishonest dish and the honest hornet and MacHines machines. Logos gone loco. Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, and the Willis was big as a blimp. What a shame, all that good oxygen being vacuumed up with whatever else goes down his sizeable maw and it sometimes seems like precious little gets to his apparently not-inconsiderable brain. Oh well, some day - Horowitz, Radosh... maybe Oliver will wake up.

I don't do enough boozing, do I?

So if I know a hurricane is coming and I choose to ignore the preparation plans my old man gave me, it's the old man's fault? And if you had a close call with Hurricane Ivan last year and Georges in '98 and you did nothing this year, it's all because Bush was on vacation? And does Mayor Nagin sound like he learned English watching UPN? And where is Sully in all this? There must be... you know, them, who could use a warm bed and some affection... (has nothing to do with the hurricane, but maybe a Him-A-Cane if you get my drift...)

Snagglepuss: Exit, stage left!
Curly: She'll be riding six white horses when she comes, one two three four five... half a dozen!
Me: Night.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

The other night I dreamed that I'd invented a candy made out of figs, but it turned out to only be a fig mint of my imagination.

On the other hand, could anyone really imagine that Bush is being blamed for the damage caused by the hurricane? Well, yes, I guess so: he's been blamed for just about everything else...

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?