Monday, August 22, 2005

Hey, did you hear about the woman whose boyfreind got stuck up her butt? She had to have a misterectumy.
I liked Gov Bill Richardson's ideas for dealing with high petroleum prices and our dependence on foreign oil - all the things the Dems have been saying for for the past couple of decades. At least he said he'd consider nuclear electric production.
And as Jerry Seinfeld might say, what's with that Chuck Hagel? Maybe he's hoping to get a plum job in the next Clinton administration. Or maybe he's just a putz, I don't know...

I decided to take a peek into the Oliverse. Willis' heading for this? "Russ Feingold is Making Sense":
I define success in Iraq as being what is most consistent with the security of the American people, in general, and that means whatever we do there should be consistent with the fight against these terrorists all around the world. In other words, the people that have attacked us in London and Madrid, those who are upsetting the government in places like Mauritania, the problems in Thailand and all around the world–whatever we do in Iraq should be consistent with that.

You can apply the same logic to making the rest of the country adopt Washington DC's gun control if that's what you think is what is consistant with being consistant with. If this is Goofy's idea of making sense, I'm glad he and Feingold are on the other side of the aisle.

Excuse me, I am about to have a coughing fit. Hack hack hack.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

As Jerry Seinfeld might put it, what's with that Able Danger? Who are these people?
Or as someone else might put it, If Oliver Willis falls and there's no one to hear it, will he still leave a hole big enough to bury an Escalade?

But hark! I have been drinking. Yaaay. Job stinks. Many files to run through yon Access Table. The Fair Damsel Priscilla deigns to love me. Henceforth shall she no long be told of the glory of her eyes. Not whilst she the Little Prince shows more Favor to. Thereof. Geez.

So we have a report (the Able Danger thing) and we have reason to believe that the information that came up might have prevented, delayed, or reduced the 9-11-01 fiasco, and... Oh, wait,
Bush was only running for the Repuglicancerous nomination for Hitlerotious of 2000 at the time. I have a cartoon in mind: Bill Clinton a knight in Shining Armor (something to do with spittle and flopsweat): Sir Bill the Gallant gallops (pronounced gal ops) up to the Feb '93 World Trade Center Bombers and cries out, "We'll seek the full penalties of the law against you, assuming the cops remembered to read you your rights!" Sir Bill gallops up to the Khobar Towers on his might steed (mere coincidence he cries "Whoa, Hill!") and yells, "Damn you to Hell if we catch you, assuming we ever do, we're going to put you on trial according to the rules of law, as they might exist by then!!" Sir Bill the who overwhelmed the Blue Dress of the Raven-Hired Dragonica shouts, "Bin Laden, now you have gone too far, organizing the bombing of our embassies where Oppressed Black Victims of Western Colonialism (hey give me a break, my State Department is full of people who sometimes think the way you do, except they're prepared to negotiate instead of turning to explosives) could be hurt in large numbers, I will see if I can get someone of importance to put out a warrant for your arrest!" And Sir Bill puts down his burger long enough to swear that we will bring to justice the miscreants who blew themselves up when they
attacked the USS Cole.
BUT IT'S ALL BUSH'S FAULT! By the way, didja ever read about the people who said we couldn't bomb the Nazi death camps in WW2 because innocent people might have been hurt?
I am going home. I have far to go before I sleep. I might edit this stuff tomorrow. I drink, therefore I am going home.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Imagine if Cindy Sheehan had a son and her son was murdered by a convicted murderer who had been turned loose on a technicality. If she were to camp outside the house of the judge who released the murderer or the home of the president who put that judge on the bench, would the mainstream media give her this much attention? Would Michael Moore put down his tureen of fudge and fatback long enough to write down her name?

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Oh, and another worthwhile story from Yahoo News, via the AP:

Iraq's interior minister said Wednesday that reports of deadly roadside bombs being smuggled into this country from Iran are exaggerated.
Interior Minister Bayan Jabr told reporters that Iraqi security forces recently opened fire on a group of men carrying boxes near the Iranian border. The men dropped the boxes and fled back into Iranian territory. Inside the boxes were dynamite sticks with some wires.
"This is all that happened at the border and was very much exaggerated," Jabr said.

Gee, I guess that goes to show something. A guy was caught selling pot in Harlem. This shows that heroin use is very much exaggerated. A guy went into McDonald's, ordered enough food for five people, then scarfed it down all by himself. "This shows how the Bush Administration fails to concern itself with the obesity problem among children," he said, ketchup dripping down his Brand Democritspy Kreme tshirt.

From Yahoo news about three hours ago:

Iran breaks UN seals on atomic plant, angers EU Reuters - 2 hours, 46 minutes ago
VIENNA/TEHRAN (Reuters) - Iran broke U.N. seals at a uranium processing plant on Wednesday making it fully operational in defiance of the European Union, which urged the U.N. nuclear watchdog to demand Tehran halt atomic work that could be used to develop weapons. Shortly after Iranian officials reopened sensitive areas of the Isfahan plant in central Iran, Britain, France and Germany submitted a draft resolution to the International Atomic Energy Agency's (IAEA) board of governors.


Yoicks. Color me impressed. Maybe next they'll threaten to say they learned from their experiences with that Hitler fellow, and you know what happened to him (thanks to Roosevelt and Stalin, not Bush and Rumsfeld): we beat the snot out of him after he killed all the Jews.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

My My, it's about a quarter past nine in the evening, I have a job doing something I actually really like (a messy spreadsheet and a database query that keeps returning the wrong results? My God, it's like getting paid to spend the day doing the NY Times Sunday crossword puzzle) while working for people I don't want to keep working for. Someone help me. About five weeks ago, Boss announced (I have one witness to this) that he was tired of arguing with me, he was going to find someone to take my place. Good luck. First question in the interview: do you know what a pivot table is? Next: Can you write an excel macro to take a uniquely named file from a database query and create a macro to create a pivot table? (Simpler than it sounds, unless you've never actually tried it.) Next: What does VLOOKUP do? Next: can you write a macro that let's you copy a bunch of check box items from a web page and turn them into a set of HTML checkboxes?
Good luck, Boss.
Jeanine (spelling? NTTR - No Time To Research) Pirro wants to run for the US Senate in NY against Adolf Hillary? Yes. Do it. I'll help. Promise. You're going to lose (unless Billary gets caught, what's the phrase, in delecto flagranti, so badly mangled, caught in the act, with the girlfriend of, what's his name, Sparky, Spunk, Sputem Sulzberg, the junior who inherited the NY Times and Hillary personally strangles him in front a video camera owned by someone who is a registeed member of the NYS Libral Party) but I think if enough New Yorkers who find Hillary Clinton to be a despicable powerhungry... what's the word I want, not witch, or the word that rhymes, or worse... a despicable powerhungry elitest? Anyway, we all know that Hillary acts like she is one of those selected, anointed and chosen to tell the rest of us how to live and what to believe and how big a portion of meat to have in a meal, and if enough of us in New York are willing to give a few hours here and there in the campaign, Hillary will not get the fatass victory she and her supporters would like. (By the way, I did a post in the comments to POLIPUNDIT, I think, and I noted that if Hillary does not win reelection next year by a large margin, the spin will be that she was too busy "working for New York" to run a really effective campaign or that she refused to run the kind of 'dirty campaign' her opponent ran, or some other BS excuse.)
Oh My, I know I have nothing in the home except pasta and dry grated cheese, let me run.
If anyone happens to visit because I made a comment on another site, I will try to scribble something at couple of times aweek. Thank God for alcohol. Also cigars, but if I only have three bucks, you can bet it'll go to a half pint of vodka and not one marginally good smoke. Tell the guys who do the HuffingtonToast site to do more Barney. Arabs taste like garlic and cumin? Yoicks. Great.
Tired. Must run.
Late. Tired. Pardon my mistakes: I envy Hitchens' talent, and I am easily confused by algebra, but at least I know I'm still wiser than Goofy Willis and I have a real job...

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?